It’s Been Awhile

I’ve been busy. Very busy. So busy I pretty much stopped writing for six months.

But I never stopped knitting.

Last year was an incredible year. I got married, was in the best shape of my life, had just come back from a vacation in Utah (one of my top three places on earth) with my son and his girlfriend, and had enough finished knitted items to toy seriously with the idea of starting my own little business.

And then at the end of May I went to the ER. And quickly discovered I had cancer. Ovarian cancer.

I won’t go into detail about that year. I wrote extensively about the experience on my other blog, Mind Margins. After surgery and chemo, I was declared cancer-free by December 2013.

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It was an incredible experience. I am so lucky to have caught it early and to have survived. Two friends I made during that time, and the majority of women who were diagnosed with ovarian cancer last year (all years, in fact), weren’t so lucky.

Looking back at this past year post-cancer, I suppose I went through a modified version of the stages of grief. During treatment I was nothing but positive. I never, ever thought I wouldn’t survive. Post-chemo, however, was another story. Looking back on what I had gone through, and survived, I initially felt scared. I thought a lot about dying. That turned to anger. Then sadness. Then just plain depression. It didn’t last long, but these past few months I’ve needed a break from all things cancer.

And every time I sat down to write, my fingers wanted to write about having cancer. My brain didn’t.

So I did everything but write–which means I got a lot of knitting done. I started running again. I spent a lot of time just sitting and thinking about what had happened and the things I learned from it. I put things in perspective and reorganized my life.

I grew my hair back.

And I knit. I knit a lot, sometimes for hours and hours. The pieces I’ll be listing soon were all knit during this post-cancer time of my life. It’s a time that’s been filled with family and love, appreciation for life, and learning to remake myself. I hope you enjoy my pieces as much as I enjoyed creating them.

– Angela

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